A Home Away from Home
They interrupted their lives and left their families behind to come to Israel to join the army and take part in the story of Israel. But being alone in Israel is often not easy. Habayit shel Benji in Raanana offers lone soldiers a loving, supportive home and community. Soon, thanks to KKL-JNF, many others will benefit from its services
By Kobi Lieberman
Ynet
In partnership with KKL-JNF
The family of Benji Hillman, one of the best-known soldiers who fell in the Second Lebanon War, received the news of his death with terrible shock. Their shock quickly turned into an insight into the manner in which they wished to commemorate him. The result was Habayit shel Benji in Ra’anana, a loving home away from home for lone soldiers, both men and women.
Saul Rurka, Benji’s cousin and the founder and CEO of Habayit shel Benji, said, “Benji got married three weeks before the battle in which he fell together with four of his troops. He had been supposed to go on his honeymoon that same month. His death made all of us gather for his shiva, where we sat and listened to thousands of people who came and went: friends, officers, and his troops from the past and the present.”
During these meetings, Rurka recalls, “Many things came up. We had not known anything about some of it, since Benji was not a big talker and never boasted about anything he did. The thing that repeated itself the most was the subject of lone soldiers — how Benji regarded dealing with them as a supreme value, gave of himself and his own money, and stayed with them on the weekends because they had nowhere else to go.”
When Benji’s family heard about this, they decided to mount a project in his memory that would focus on helping lone soldiers. “That shiva changed the direction of my life,” Rurka says. “I was a high-tech entrepreneur at the time, with a company that I had founded. I spent several months investigating, as a businessman, what lone soldiers are given. First, I realized that the most important thing for a lone soldier is his weekend — the place that he comes back to. I realized that they do not always get the solutions they need.”
Rurka realized that a change was necessary. “We did what we thought he would have wanted,” he said. “We set out on a seven-year-long adventure, received land from the Ra’anana municipality, raised money from all over the world, and spoke with lone soldiers in order to plan a dedicated building that would suit their needs.”
Habayit shel Benji has a private room for each lone soldier to use throughout his or her whole term of service, three meals a day, and laundry and cleaning services. “We wanted to treat them like members of the family who were coming home,” Rurka said, “to make them feel that they were not alone. Soldiers come back absolutely exhausted, particularly after a course or basic training. He should not have to do his own cleaning. He should be able to come home, rest, gather energy, and go back to being the best soldier he can be. That is what Benji thought, and that is what we’re doing.”
Habayit shel Benji has a guidance center for lone soldiers to consult regarding what they will do after their army service in order to help them adjust to civilian life. “We helped 330 soldiers enter civilian life in 2017,” Rurka says. “It’s a half-year program with individual support. More than 90 percent of the people who went through it have stayed and adjusted to life in Israel.”
More than 400 permanent volunteers from Ra’anana and its environs are among those responsible for the functioning of Habayit shel Benji and the guidance center. “We could not run the home without the volunteers,” Rurka says. “They do wonderful work, and we are grateful for it every single day.”
The soldiers agree that Habayit shel Benji is enormously helpful for them. Eve Young, a lone soldier from the United States who was chosen this year by the president as an outstanding soldier and who serves as a combat soldier in air defense, recalls: “I was a bit apprehensive when I arrived, and I found out very quickly that the people at Habayit shel Benji — the staff and the volunteers — are very warm and welcoming. It has become a home, with a very strong community. I felt sad when I left the army on Independence Day because everyone was going back to their families for barbecues, but the moment I came back to the house, everybody was happy to see me. I went in a moment from feeling discouraged and wondering ‘Where’s my family?’ to being very happy and thinking, ‘This is my family.’”
Young says, “Since everyone in the house is in the same situation, everybody is there for one another. The volunteers are amazing: They give up some of their weekend to cook and wash dishes for me. There’s someone who never sees the soldiers on the weekends, and cleans up after us.”
She plans to live in Jerusalem once she completes her service. “It’s the city I love the best,” she says. “I’m already planning to rent an apartment with people from the house. That’s the power of our community — people who have been discharged come back for meals. They stay friends. It’s an ongoing and strong community.”
Eyal Kadron came from the U.S. to serve as a combat soldier in the Paratroopers’ Unit. “I waited for three months to get into Habayit shel Benji because of the waiting list. From the day I went in, I realized that it was an amazing place, something completely different. They do everything. You don’t have to worry about a thing when you get home. They clean up after us. There’s a family of good people who do laundry for me. The food is excellent. They’re always asking whether we need anything.”
“There’s a pool, a gym, special discounts for soldiers from the house — and most of all, quiet,” Kadron says. “It gives us a moment to breathe when we come back from the army, and that’s what’s the most important.” Kadron, who is to be discharged soon, adds that he is planning to avail himself of the guidance center. “It shows that they want people to stay in Israel after their army service. It’s wonderful,” he says.
The house had 48 rooms when it was opened in 2013. “Even in the first months, we saw that the waiting list was long, even before the system recognized us,” Rurka says. More rooms were opened in 2016, bringing the total number to 75. “We decided, in order to keep things intimate, to get to 90 rooms, and we saw that we were able to build twelve more new rooms,” he says.
Happily for Rurka, a way was found. “Representatives of KKL-JNF contacted the non-profit association and said that they wanted to help lone soldiers,” he said. “They feel that this is an important thing for the country. They heard about our solution and wanted to look into the option of working together. I told them about the plan to add rooms. They obtained confirmation of a donation almost immediately, and the construction of a new wing was agreed upon — the KKL-JNF wing of Habayit shel Benji, at a cost of NIS 2.2 million.”
This is a new kind of work for KKL-JNF. Yehiel Cohen, KKL-JNF Central Region Deputy Director, said, “I am glad that we joined this project. I think that helping lone soldiers and building a loving home for them is Zionism for its own sake, and a welcome act.”